Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'm back

Looking over the last few months, I've been rather discombobulated. Without going into details, it seems that every aspect of life has gone through some change over the last few months. That earthquake/tsunami/nuclear accident in Japan really affected me in a way that I'm not sure it would have if things here had been going on as normal.
At the time of writing my last post, I feared I was on the brink of a bout of depression. Things that I enjoyed doing - like blogging - all seemed too much effort. I had prolonged post-natal depression after my daughter was born, and immediately recognised that feeling of hopelessness, the "black cloud" that seems to follow you around.

This time, though, I was able to recognise that feeling for what it was. I muttered my motto - "this too shall pass" - to myself a lot. I let my family know how I was feeling. I made sure I got enough rest, and got myself outdoors exercising every day. Having a dog that needs to be walked twice a day certainly helped. I made myself do stuff and talk to people, even though a lot of the time that is the last thing I wanted to do.

And so, it has passed. And I'm back.

A few posts ago, I wrote about our disappointing grape situation, and wrote that this year we would not be making wine. I should have known that would never happen, not when Action Man has his winery set up just so.

On Easter Saturday we went up to my uncle's property just west of Berrima and picked a couple of hundred kilos of merlot grapes. On Easter Sunday, we crushed them. Today I am babysitting the ferment, punching down the skins in the fermenting tank every couple of hours.

The Chief Winemaker is not hopeful. The grapes weren't great - it really hasn't been a warm enough summer for the sugars to get to where they need to be. On Sunday afternoon I went on an emergency mission to buy 10 kilos of white sugar to get the sugar levels up (yes, professionals do this too). Other tests run by the Chief Winemaker don't bode well either, but he has a few more tricks up his sleeve, so here's hoping for the best.


achan said...

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well. Amazing though that you could quickly recognise what was happening and take a positive approach. It must of been a very hard period that you went through, looking after yourself is really the most important thing to do.

As for the earthquake it has affected more people in more ways than we can possibly imagine. I find myself spending hours & hours reading about it, listening to survival stories and those trying to help out in the aftermarth but I end up in tears everytime. I think this is how I to cope with the situation though. The recovery is going to take a long time though

Making wine sounds like fun...well not the actual doing but the anticipation of the end result! What will happen if the wine doesn't work? does it become vinegar or is it just dumped?

Sonia said...

Our family is riddled with mental illness so I feel for you, I really do. Well done on the effort you put in to slowly getting yourself back on track. Because effort is the first thing that goes out the window with depression, isn't it?
Good luck with the wine! Looking forward to hearing about the progress.

HAZEL said...

Well done in fighting off the blues...sometimes it is hard to recognise them when you are in it. Good luck with the winemaking and grape skin punching!

Cabbage Tree Farm said...

Welcome back Paola, glad you are feeling in better spirits.

Hope the wine is drinkable!

Libby said...

Hi Paola,

Sorry to hear you've been battling with depression but am glad you're on the other side. It's term 2 - did you want to meet up for tea again? I've long finished the bag of tea I bought and could definitely use some more :-).


Marita said...

looking forward to reading more again.

emilysincerely said...

Hi Paola, I am so glad to hear you are feeling better and back at the blog. The grape concoctions sure looks good in your photo. I hope the end result is as good. Looking forward to reading about it once it is ready to drink. Emily